


Toxicity (Spencer Reid X Reader)

by shreksfatcoochielips



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:47:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29606202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shreksfatcoochielips/pseuds/shreksfatcoochielips
Summary: Y/N is depressed with a drug addiction, she finds herself stuck in an unhealthy relationship with Spencer Reid. When she joins the BAU things start to look up, but not for long.
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Kudos: 7





	1. 1

You wake up to a door slam, Spencer's home. 

He has a side to him that you don't think anyone else sees. You met him when you sold him drugs, he made a sexual advance to you and you went back to his apartment and had sex all night that night. 

He was rough but you liked it. 

You had nowhere else to stay and you were making money from selling drugs but you still didn't have enough money to live off of. So you were staying with friends and sleeping on the street. 

He met you often to buy drugs and sleep with you. When you two started becoming official, you had no idea he was an FBI agent. 

He's angry all the time when he gets home. You can't even begin to count the times you have hit each other or gotten jealous. You guys are rough with each other but still show affection. 

Some might call this relationship toxic, however you've always fantasized about having a Harley Quinn and Joker relationship. 

Maybe it was trauma that made you like this, but all you truly knew is that you loved Spencer. 

Spencer barged in the room and stood in the doorway, he was staring at you. 

"Why are you still in bed?" 

"I don't know," you shrug your shoulders. 

"I've had a long day, I need to blow off steam. Take off your clothes," Spencer was very demanding. 

You sit up and smile at him, "make me." 

"Really? You want me to make you?" Spencer walks over to you. You loved it when he took his anger out on you. 

He forces off your clothes and holds you down so tightly, "you wanted this right?" 

He puts his hand over your nose and mouth so that you weren't able to breathe. He stares deep into your eyes as he removes his pants and underwear. He thrust into you and finishes quickly. 

He removes his hand and you're finally able to breathe. 

He slaps you as he gets up and grabs your jaw, "next time, listen to me." 

You slap him back and push him onto the bed. You get onto of him and choke him, "oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it?" 

He pushes you off of him, "go make me food." 

"Fuck off," you say while flipping him off. 

You go to the dresser where there's a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. You take a cigarette out of the pack and light it. 

"You're not supposed to smoke in here." 

"And you were still doing dilaudid when you were going to meetings and saying you were sober." 

You take a drag of the cigarette. 

"You need to get a job." 

"I'm looking for one. I can't exactly put drug dealer on my resume," you throw your hands up in defense. 

"So, go back to dealing or something." 

"Spencer, you're smart. You know I can't do that." 

You go into the kitchen and grab a snack cake from the cabinet. You eat it quickly and walk back into the room. 

You and Spencer talk about possible jobs you could apply for. Then you just decide to go back to dealing drugs. 

You finish your cigarette. 

Since its late, you tell Spencer you should go and walk to the tunnel where you usually hung out. 

He stops you. 

"You're not going." 

"Why? You literally just told me to." 

He gets up and gets in your face, "you're probably screwing some other man." 

"I'm not doing this today, you're fucking paranoid. Get help," you storm out of the room and then walk out of the apartment. 

You go to the tunnel where people usually come to sell and buy. 

Some people are your usuals, some aren't. You can tell which ones are nervous, or first timers and which ones are sad and need a fix. 

You know these people because you used to be all of them. 

A cop comes into the tunnel. 

You thought if anything, it would be an undercover cop. Not just a cop coming into the tunnel to chase people. 

Everyone runs but you are the last to do so. 

The cop tackles you to the ground and handcuffs you. A group of officers run in and arrest a couple other of the people buying and selling. 

The cop puts you in the back of the police car and takes you to the police station. 

They pull you into an interrogation room. 

That's odd, they never interrogate you for drugs. They just press charges and put you in jail. You figured, since this was your second offense they would take you to court and figure out what they would do from there. 

The first time, you spent 30 days in jail. 

A tall man wearing a suit with dark hair and a woman with blonde hair comes into the room. 

These aren't cops. 

"I'm SSA Hotchner and this is SSA Jareau from the FBI. We have a couple of questions for you."


	2. 2

Why the fuck are FBI agents questioning you? 

Then you realize they must be Spencer's coworkers, but do they know who you are? 

"Why am I here?" you look blankly at the them. 

"We were hoping you could answer that," Hotchner says. 

"Where were between three and four this evening?" Jareau says. 

"I was at home." 

"Can anyone vouge for you?" Jareau says. 

"Yeah, my boyfriend." 

"Who might that be?" Hotchner takes out a note pad and a pen. 

"What the fuck is this about?" 

They look at each other and then excuse themselves. Jesus, they arrested me on drug possession and selling. And if I say I'm dating Spencer Reid, they would freak out. 

After a couple of minutes of you staring around the room, the detectives come back in. 

"You are aware that four women were raped and murdered by a former drug dealer," this time another woman comes in. She has dark long hair and she's wearing a red tank top under a blazer. 

"A drug dealer that worked in the same tunnel that you work in," Hotchner says. 

"Well, I didn't do it." 

"So, tell us what you know," Jareau says. 

"I'm not a fucking snitch." 

"You do realize we have two charges against you of drug possesion and distributing illegal drugs," the woman says. 

"And if I cooperate, I could get it expunged?" 

"I'll put in a good word. Now tell us what you know," the woman says. 

"Alright, fine. I know a couple of dealers that work the tunnel." You go on and tell them about the history of each of them. They all exit the interrogation room. 

The woman with dark hair comes back in after a couple of minutes, "it says here in your file that you have a degree in psychology, criminal justice, and behavioral science. And you have college credits for forensic psychology." 

"Yeah, so?" 

"How did you get from being the smartest person in your classes, so much so that you got through four bachelor's degrees in six years?" 

"When I turned 26, I had to drop out. My mom was sick and I had to take care of her. I was in the middle of my master's in college. What the hell does this had to do with anything?" 

"I just noticed that you haven't taken the best path and you have so much potential. There's a position open in my office," the woman hands you a card. 

You take it and look at it, then look back at her. 

"You could easily get your master's done and get hired at the office," she's looking at sympathetically, "you're free to go." 

You get up and walk out before she can. 

You walk passed Spencer and he tries not to look at you. You walk out of the police station and pull out a cigarette. 

You light it and then Spencer walks outside angrily. 

"What the fuck, you got caught?" 

"Uh, yeah isn't it obvious," you take a drag of your cigarette. 

He flicks the cigarette out of your hands, "you're such a fucking dumbass." 

You don't get angry easily, you actually like seeing Spencer anger. It's hot. 

"That girl with the dark hair gave me a card so that I can apply when I finish college." 

"College?" Spencer scoffs, "you can barely figure out how to sell drugs right." 

You smile at him while biting your lip, "keep doing that." 

It may be fucked up but you like the emotional and physical abuse, you and Spencer make each other endure, "tear me down, baby. Insult me more." 

"You really want me to hurt you, huh?" 

You bite your lip and nod. He pushes you against the wall and slaps you, "is that good enough for you." 

You smile and nod, then start laughing because you know it'll make him angry 

(uh, i just realized that this story is just a rewritten version of ray and syd from that one episode😳  
chile, anyway so..) 

"I have to get back to work, make yourself useful," Spencer walks back inside. 

You walk to the apartment and go inside, it was a long day and you just drift off to sleep.


	3. 3

You wake up in the middle of the day. 

You decided to finish school, so you transferred your credits to an online school and decide to complete the work from home. 

It would only take you a week or so to finish school. You can't believe you actually are thinking about getting a good job. 

You've had a lot of trauma and you were a former drug addict that used to snort coke in the school bathroom. 

Your drug addiction kept getting worse and it spiraled into heroine. You've been clean for over a year but you still sold. 

You always wanted to get out of this toxic mindset. You're toxic and you like to be hurt, sometimes you're able to come out of that shell but Spencer draws you back in. 

You never thought you would actually be considering having a good career. You're excited, you used to be very smart. 

You still may be smart but you never cared. 

After your mom died, you had nothing and never cared about anything. You only care about Spencer right now. 

You've always wondered if you would ever get the chance to straighten your life out. 

While you are on the laptop doing a couple of assignments, you hear the front door slam open and hit the wall. You close your laptop and go investigate. 

You walk in and Spencer is lying on the ground with the door wide open. 

He's drunk again. 

You walk over to him and tap his back with your foot, "get up." 

He nudges you away, you put your hand on his shoulder and turn him over on his back. He grabs your wrist, "don't touch me." His eyes are bloodshot red and he's very angry. 

"Fine, I hope you choke on your own vomit," you say, jerking your hand back. 

Spencer struggles to get up as you walk away into the kitchen. 

He runs after you, grabs your hair, and pulls it, "you're gonna respect me or you're not gonna be able to walk." You turns around and punch him full force in the face. 

He looks at you, his mouth is bleeding. He pushes you into the room, onto the bed. He gets on top of you and pulls out his gun. 

You smile at him, cynically. 

He puts the gun to your head. You're not scared, you're actually aroused. He says, "you wanna do that again?" 

"If I do, will you pull the trigger?" 

"You think this is funny?" Spencer tightens his grip on the gun. 

"Do it. Do it, daddy," you say while biting your lip and rubbing the barrel of the gun up and down. 

He pulls down your pants with your panties. 

He unbuckles his belt and pulls it out of his pants then unbuttons his pants. He pulls himself out of his boxers and plays with it. 

He pries open your legs and shoves himself inside of you, still holding the gun. 

He wraps his around around your throat while tracing the gun down to your neck. 

"You like that? You like when I'm hurting you?" Spencer says as he slaps you very roughly. 

"Shoot me while you cum, baby," you bit your lip. 

"Okay," Spencer goes as fast as he can then slows down. He puts the gun to your head and releases inside of you then pulls the trigger. 

Nothing happened, Spencer starts laughing, "it's not loaded." 

He throws the gun aside and lays down. 

He grabs the pack of cigarettes laying on the night stand and takes one out, "do you have a light?" 

You pull out a lighter, light it, and put it up to Spencer's cigarette. After its lit, you put the lighter back in your pocket. "Are you actually going back to school?" Spencer leans over and looks at you. 

"Yeah, I registered today." 

Spencer turns over and starts feeling up your shirt. You move his hand away and grab the cigarette from his hand. 

You get up and take a drag of it, "literally all you want to do is fuck." 

"What do you want us to do? Go on date and doing the lovey shit that you said you never wanted to do?" Spencer gets really defensive. 

"This relationship is just us fucking." 

"Oh, so this is a relationship now," Spencer gets up, "so you want me to get one fucking knee and say i love you." 

"Yeah, maybe I do want that." 

"Well, I don't love you," he gets up and gets in your face. 

You look up at up and push him, tries to push you against the wall but you punch him in the face. He falls and you get on top of him. 

"Be honest, baby, you like this," you say while pulling his hair.


	4. 4

After a couple of weeks, Spencer wakes you up early in the morning 

He tells you that you need to be up early for the interview you scheduled. You're used to going to sleep at 6 and sleeping til noon so you were exhausted. 

You dragged yourself out of bed after falling asleep a couple of times. 

You don't have many professional clothes so you take out a pair of jeans and a clean tshirt out of your drawer. 

You put them on and get ready by brushing your hair and your teeth. You splash water in your face to wake yourself up, it doesn't really do anything Spencer gets ready as well. 

Spencer seems to be nice right now. 

He wasn't angry and you two haven't even though about fighting. What about you made him like that? Why was he just nice now? 

You figured it was because, he had to get into character for work. 

You liked this, it was peaceful. 

You and Spencer head out the door. Spencer usually walks to work so you get to talk with him today. 

It talks a while, maybe that's why he gets up so early. He also has trouble sleeping, he barely sleeps at all and gets up at very very early times while you sleep all day every day. 

You are so out of shape that you are kind od out of breath by the time you get there. 

When you enter the building, there's a metal elevator 

You follow Spencer because you have no clue where you're supposed to go, Spencer goes into the elevator where there's a bunch of people. 

Spencer presses the elevator button and it takes you to a floor where he gets off at. 

There's a glass door that says behavorial analysis unit. 

The entire room has window around it. Spencer goes into the room. There's a bunch of desks everywhere where people are sitting. 

A couple of people look at you funny. 

The girl that gave you the card is interacting with a man, he bald and he has a beard. The girl with blonde hair is talking to them too. is wearing a gun holster. 

There's a small balcony that overlooks the entire office and there's stairs that lead to it. 

Spencer points you to the a door directing in front of the stairs. The man that interviewed you is sitting at a desk looking at a beige file. 

You walk up and walk into the room that Spencer pointed at. 

Spencer walks over to the group of people you say interacting. 

The man in the office looks very intimidating. You walk up to him and introduce yourself and give him a file with all your information in it. 

He asks you a couple of questions and then tells you that you are hired. 

He also tells you that you have to go through a series of training programs, one of them is for learning how to shoot accurately. The training programs start tomorrow. 

You thank him and he tells you that he's gonna introduce you to the rest of the team. 

He walks with you down the stairs and to the people interacting. 

"This is Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss, Spencer Reid, and Jeniffer Jareau," he says while pointing at them. 

Derek looks at Hotch weird. 

Hotch takes you into a room with a bunch of computers where a blonde lady wearing very over the top and bright clothing is sitting in an office chair. 

She introduces herself as Penelope Garcia and shakes your hand. 

She's very preppy and happy for some reason, you find her annoying. Hotch takes you out the room and an old man walks out of one of the rooms. 

Hotch walks you up to him, "this is David Rossi." 

David shakes your hand. 

Hotch walks you over to a desk, "you will start with desk work until you finish the programs then we'll transfer you onto the field." 

He tells you about a conference room and points to it where everyone meets. 

He tells you all the paperwork you need to do that needs to be turned in my the end of the day. 

He leaves you to it after he tells you that you'll be starting the conference soon. 

Hotch then walks over to the group of people. 

You can hear Derek ask Hotch why they hired a suspect on a case they worked on, you can tell he isn't gonna like you. I guess he never heard about Emily giving you the card. 

Emily explains that you were a troubled kid that needed a good job. She tells that you were smart and how you finished your degrees really fast. 

You can Morgan say, "great, we're gonna have another Reid." 

The team laughs at that remark. You pretend to do your work the entire time. You glance up and see Spencer looking you at you. 

Then the entire team glances at you. 

You go back to doing your work, this is weird for you because you actually already like this job. 

You're excited to start your first day.


	5. 5

Hotch comes over to you and tells you to come to conference room. 

The entire teams walks there. 

Everyone sits down and you sit in the empty seat. 

Jennifer gets up in front of everybody with a remote and turns on a screen. There were a bunch of pictures of the victims. 

Two women had their head cuts off and stuck to a pole in a circle near a beach. 

They talk about the case. 

You're a little nervous to put your input so you stay quiet but then you remember something, "it's a ritual." 

"Most likely, its a group of people or person that have created some sort of religion or followed on, like satanism." 

(i don't want this to give satanist a bad reputation, im a satanist myself and the rituals were in the 1980s when it first started, they dont do that anymore. satanism is a religion about finding yourself and respecting yourself as well as others) 

"They used to perform rituals that they would believe bring purity to women by molesting and hanging them as well as hanging them up to humiliate them." 

The teams looks at you for a second and proceeds to talk about it and how they could locate the murderer. 

"So, the unsub.." Hotch tries to say. 

"Unsub?" you're confused 

"It's the unknown subject," Emily adds. 

You nod and go back to listen. The team comes up with an idea of who the unsub is. 

Hotch ends the meeting with wheels up in thirty. 

Everyone gets up and some of the team members huddle up and talk, "what does he mean by wheels up in thirty" 

"He means, the jet. Wherever the case is, we fly to," Emily explains. 

"Oh, so thats what he means by going on the field," you slowly nod to yourself. 

The team interacts and Spencer is sitting at the table, looking over the file. You walk over to him, "did I do good" 

"Yeah, for your first time doing this." 

"Whats the deal with Hotch?" 

"He's a very tough guy, he never blinks. He's always very serious but he's funny. The only time I've ever seen him cry is when his wife died." 

"Oh shit, his wife died," you try not to laugh. 

"Yup," he looks at you blanky. 

You decide to go back to your desk to finish paperwork early. 

You set down and open the first file. 

Jesus, why the fuck is there so many files? 

You get to work to fill out and checking everything. You get through them pretty quickly because you read fast. 

You find it interesting to read about some of the cases. 

As a child, you were fascinated by murder mystery story. You bought the board games and even made up a game with your friends when you were in Elementary school. 

You finish your paper work and walk into Hotch's office and leave the files on his desk. 

You get curious and decide to walk into the room where Garcia is. 

"So, what do you do?" 

Garcia jumps and turns around. 

"You scared me," she smiles at you. 

How can someone be this happy? 

You sit down in the extra chair in her office. 

"Well, I help find information for the team when they need it. I usually locate the suspects and narrow down lists." 

"So, you're their tech person?" 

"Yeah." 

"So, what's your story?" 

The phone sitting on her desk near the computers starts ringing. She uses the pen in her hand to answer the phone on speaker. 

You hear Morgan's voice on the other line. 

"Babygirl, I'm gonna need you to find what a connection between the victims." 

Garcia types really fast at her computer. 

"These women have all visited the same site that for women and men to...." 

"So, the unsub finds them through this site. Can you find the women's messages with other people on the site?" 

"I'll get it back to you as soon as possible," Garcia ends the call with her pen and types at her keyboard, "to answer your question." 

She continues, "I was a hacker and the FBI found me and recruited me." 

"So you're like me." 

She looks at you for a second, "tell me all about it," then goes back to her computer and continues. 

"I was apart of the one of the drug dealers that they arrested for the murder," you observe everything she's going. 

"I guess, Emily say my file and saw that I went through college really fast and thought I was smart enough to join the team.' 

"So, you're the female Spencer Reid." 

"Not quite, I went through high school like normal then quickly made my way to college. But yes, I am pretty smart." 

"High school like normal? How did you know Spencer went through high school fast and was really smart?" 

"Uh.." 

Garcia gets another call, she answers it with her pen, "I got the list. Three different accounts from the same location have talked to the two murdered and one missing. 

"Can you send me the information?" 

"You got it, my chocolate thunder," Garcia hangs up with her pen and types at her computer for a second then turns around and looks at you. 

"You have a secret, tell me." 

"Spencer and I are together." 

Garcia looks shocked, "as in dating?" 

"Yeah." 

"How long have you been together?" 

"A year or so." 

"He was dating you when you were still selling drugs?" Garcia looks away. Then realizes you were the one selling him dilaudid. 

"You figured it out, didn't you" 

"I was NOT expecting that." 

"Don't worry, Spencer is clean. I'm clean and I haven't sold in a long time." 

"Give me the scoop, what's he like at home?" 

"Uh, I have to go to the bathroom," you get up and go to the bathroom. You walk in and look in the mirror. 

You look down and realize that you couldn't explain how the relationship was for a reason. It wasn't good. 

You try not to cry.


	6. 6

Then you look back up at the mirror. 

You realized, there was a part of you that still craved loved and affection. You're tough exterior was trying to wear itself away. 

You push everything down and decided to go back to the room with Garcia. 

She's on the phone with Morgan again. 

They are flirting. You sit back down in the chair and Garcia turns around after hanging up the call and jumps, "you've got to stop sneaking up on me like that." 

You sit back down in the chair. 

"What were we talking about again?" 

"You and Spencer," Garcia plays around with her fuzzy pen. 

You examine around her desk top. Lots of fuzzy pens, little figurines, tiny stuffed animals, and rubber toys(i know what you're thinking😐). It definitely has a lot of personality. 

She's very bright too, she's nice. 

But over the top, you tolerate her and kinda like her but somewhere you are annoyed by her. 

"I'm thinking of breaking things off with him." 

"Awe, why?" 

"He's just not really the one, you know?" 

"I get it, but I have to say he does talk about you a lot." 

"What does he say?" 

"He said you were the most perfect girl that he'd been looking for. He seemed to really like you, he never really liked anyone as much as he liked you and Maeve." 

What? 

How did he like you if he treated you the way he did? I mean, it was fun for a while but you want a change for once in your life. Maybe it was because you told him that you liked that stuff when you started dating. 

You even told him you had a fantasy. 

And you walked in on him fucking another girl, you pulled his gun on the girl and then had sex with him after you ran her out of the apartment. 

He let you relive all of your wild fantasies. 

Do you even know his true colors? 

"Who's Maeve?" 

"His ex. He watched her..." 

"Watched her what?" 

"Die." 

"Oh," then you quickly change the subject, "I might try to patch things up." 

"I hope you do. You know this is nice, having someone to talk to while I sit in this office all day." 

"I was getting bored after I finished the paperwork." 

"You finished all that paperwork in a couple of hours?" 

"Yeah, I got through to pretty quickly. Then I checked through it." 

"Wow, you are the female Reid." 

"I wish, imagine all the stuff I could know. When I was younger, I used to tell everyone random facts I knew. My grandmother called me a walking encyclopedia." 

(this is a true fact about me) 

"Spencer does that all the time, what facts do you know?" 

"I know that statistically Canada has the highest cocaine use." 

"That's really random, where do you learn this stuff?" 

"I don't really know." 

After long talks with Garcia about random shit, hours pass and the team gets back. Surprisingly, Garcia was very good company. You lost track of time talking to her. You didn't even think to look at the time. 

It's dark outside by the time they get here. 

You walk up to Spencer and ask him how the case went and he says it went well. 

Then Hotch asks you into his office. 

You follow him into his office, everyone went quiet. Hotch closes the door and was silent for a moment while he looks through the files. 

He picks a couple of them up and opens them while scanning through each of the pages. 

You stand, quietly while looking at him. 

Then he set the files down and looks at you, you're terrified that he's gonna point out something wrong. 

"Well done, your training programs will start tomorrow. I'll show you where to go tomorrow," Hotch shakes your hand and leads you outside. 

The rest of the ream had already cleared out except Spencer. 

You and Spencer walk out together and into the elevator. You get out of the elevator once it reaches the first floor and walk out of the building. 

While you two are walking home side by side, you try to make conversation. 

"Who are you?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"What's your true colors?" 

"Don't you know me? We've been living together for over a year." 

"I talked to Garcia, she told me the nice things you said about me. I was thinking that the only reason we ever did that stuff was because I told you I wanted it." 

Spencer stops and looks at you. 

You stop and look back at him. 

"So, you don't want it rough like this anymore?" 

"No." you turn to face him. 

"What do you want then?" he turns toward you and looks down at you. 

You put your hands on him, "I want to see who you truly are. I want to know you, Spencer." 

Spencer takes a deep breath and continues walking.. 

You throw up your hands and walk fast to catch up with him. 

You two reach his apartment. 

You decide to just ignore him if he didn't want to talk to you about this, maybe you should break up with him. You go into the bathroom and wash your face and teeth. 

You walk out and go to your dresser. 

You change into shorts and a baggy shirt. Then you feel a breath against your ear, Spencer is behind you. 

He puts his hand on your waist and moves it onto your stomach. 

He whispers, "do you really wanna know who I am?"


	7. 7

You turn around and Spencer cups your face in his hands. 

He kisses you so softly. 

You pull away, "is this just a way for you to get me to fuck you?" 

Spencer takes your hand and leads you into the kitchen where two candles are lit and there's two plates with food across from each other, the lights are off. The only thing lighting up the room are the candles. 

Spencer walks you over to the table. 

You sit down, he lets go of your hand and sits down in the chair across from you. 

"This entire time, you never knew me," Spencer seems to have his entire attention to you, "we can restart and have a real relationship." 

"If this was a way for you to get me to fuck you then it worked," you get up. 

You walk over to him and sit in his lap. 

You pull him by his tie into the bedroom, he blows out the candles while you do it. You flop onto the bed and he falls on top of you. 

You lose your breath for a second, he may look skinny but this bitch is heavy. 

He adjusts himself and holds himself over to you and you're able to breath again. You both laugh it off then he stops and looks into your eyes. 

"So, what do you want this to be like?" 

His voice is soft. 

"Why are you asking me? I'm trying to get to know the real you." 

He pushes you up by your waist so that your head is against the pillows. He moves his body down and removes your underwear and shorts with a swift motion. 

He looks up at you as you look down at him. 

He gently moves your legs apart 

He puts his tongue on your clit and moves it around gently. You're dripping wet and it feels so amazing, you can't keep the moans in. 

Your breathing starts to get heavier. 

He puts two of his fingers inside of you and moves them in and out slowly. His hands are huge and its feels so good. 

The feeling when he put his hands on your waist made your heart race and butterflies in your stomach, but its not nearly as good as this is right now. He stares continuously into your eyes and doesn't look away at all. 

You arch your back and lean your head back into the pillow, biting your lip. 

This lasted for a while. 

Then he unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants. He pulls down his pants and removes his shoes while he does this. 

He removes his boxers and moves up to you, he puts himself inside of you. 

He doesn't have to say anything. His hand movements and the way he looks at you makes this moment better. 

He thrusts slowly and grips his hand onto your waist. 

The clapping noise isn't loud or fast. You are so wet and you can tell Spencer is enjoying it too. He hasn't said anything. 

He leans in randomly and kisses you. 

You can feel yourself getting closer and closer as he continues thrusting. You put your hands on his back and moan loudly. Spencer's mouth is next to your ear, breathing heavily. 

He groans a bit and releases himself inside of you. 

You finish quickly after he does. 

He gets off and lays beside of you. You scoot up next to him so that your head can lay in his chest, you can hear his heart beating fast and his breath is heavy. 

He plays with your hair. 

"Do you love me?" Spencer asks you. 

At that moment you really take in that question, do you love Spencer? 

You knew you have some doubts because it was hard to love anyone. Emotional connections were hard for you to form, maybe that's why you are so hypersexual. 

Have you ever really loved anyone? 

"Yes, I love you," you reply to Spencer. 

"I know earlier I said I didn't but I do, I fell madly in love with you with the instant I saw you." 

"So, is this the real you?" 

"I love you, y/n. I always wanted to make you happy and that was what made you happy at the time, I guess I was just a good actor." 

"Why would you act like that for that long?" 

"Because I knew you. I knew you were smart, I knew deep down you had a lot of problems but you hid them so well." 

You look up at him, he looks back at you. 

You put your hand on his cheek and rub it, then play with his hair, "i love you."


End file.
